Ways to Honour and Remember Your Baby

There is no right or wrong way to honour and remember your baby.  Do what feels comfortable for you and your family.  Don’t let anyone tell you that what you choose to do is ‘wrong’.  The list below is merely a few suggestions for things you can do to remember your baby and keep his or her memory alive.

  • Keep a memory box of your baby’s special items.  If you had a late miscarriage, a stillborn baby or a baby who died after birth, you may have hand and footprints, hospital bracelets, clothes and photographs of your baby.  If you had an early miscarriage or a termination for medical reasons, you may have scan photographs or photographs of special places you visited while pregnant which you could store in your Memory Box.  You could include letters to your baby, sympathy cards you received when your baby died – anything at all that reminds you of your baby.  Buy or make a special box to store all these items in, so you can take them out and look at them whenever you wish.
  • Buy a piece of memorial jewellery with your child’s name and special date on, or with their prints on.  The Memory Tree have a range of personalised memorial jewellery specifically designed for honouring and remembering your baby or babies.  The cost of running the Aidan’s Elephants website is funded entirely from the profits of The Memory Tree, so by purchasing from the site you are helping us to continue supporting bereaved parents in the UK.
  • Write a blog to record your journey after losing your precious baby.  If you are not comfortable with openly sharing your experience with the world, you can make your blog private.  You can create a free blog on WordPress or Blogger.
  • Write a letter to your baby.
  • Release helium balloons for your baby.  You could attach notes or letters to your balloons if you wish.
  • Buy keepsakes and memorial items that remind you of your baby.
  • Name a star after your baby.
  • Name a rose with your baby’s name.
  • Make a donation to a baby loss related charity in your baby’s name.  Donations to Aidan’s Elephants are always gratefully received.
  • Order a Molly Bear to fill your arms, a bear that is weighted exactly to match your baby’s birth weight.  Molly Bears relies entirely on donations.  You do not have to pay to order a bear, but you will need to pay the overseas postage costs when your bear is ready to be posted out to you.
  • Donate Memory Boxes to your local hospital. If you would like to join with Aidan’s Elephants to help provide Memory Boxes, please get in touch.
  • Become a SANDS befriender and support other parents who have lost a baby (you will need to be a year into your loss to sign up).
  • Contact your local council and find out if there will be any local tree plantings.  You could arrange to have a tree planted in your baby’s memory.
  • Plant a flower garden for your baby.  You could do this in your own garden if you own one, or you could buy large planters to use on a patio or apartment balcony.
  • Organise a fundraiser or sponsored event to raise money for a baby loss charity, in your baby’s name.  Aidan’s Elephants welcome you to join our JustGiving Team, to raise money for our Memory Boxes.
  • Speak about your baby as often as you feel like it, to whoever will listen.  Come and join us on Facebook and meet other bereaved parents who will listen with understanding ears.
  • Make a scrapbook or photo album of photographs of your baby, or photographs of things that remind you of your baby – such as sunshine, butterflies, rainbows, etc.  The Memory Tree sells Memory Albums which are specially designed to keep your photographs safe, or you could make your own by buying a blank scrapbook and creating pages yourself.
  • Release sky lanterns at dusk for your baby.
  • Light candles for your baby on special dates, or whenever you wish.
  • Attend a creative writing course, a painting course or a photography course and let your baby be your inspiration for capturing the little signs of beauty in the world.
  • Organise something special on your baby’s birthday or a special date.  You could ask friends and family to join you in releasing balloons or sky lanterns, or you could do something small at home by yourself to remember your baby, such as writing a letter, lighting candles on a cupcake, or buying a special keepsake that reminds you of them.
  • Take photographs of items that have your baby’s name on, or you could take photographs of your baby’s name written in the sand, on pavements, made out of pebbles, leaves – anything at all!
  • Get involved with Aidan’s Elephants and help us to support other bereaved parents, in honour of your baby.  Send us an email to find out how you could help to make a difference.

Have you done something special to honour or remember your baby that you would like to share with other parents?  We would love to hear your ideas.  Please leave a note in the comments box below.

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